During the last three months, as COVID 19, otherwise known as the Corona Virus, took on the world by its scruff and shook every one of us in the globe. The devastation still continues. Locked down at home, all of us are in the process of understanding ourselves, our work, our relationships, our lifestyles and our future.

Here are a few examples of how I looked at myself. During these three months, sitting on the couch at my son’s Manhattan residence, I went four decades back to my “Masters in Management” days and started “Role Playing”.

In normal times, travel was a physical activity & we needed a transport to travel long distances. Yet I travelled across without the use of aero planes/vehicles to all parts of the world. I went to China, South Korea, Italy, Spain, Cuba, Ecuador, Russia, Sweden, Brazil, Mexico, Great Britain and several other countries. I am learning so much about these places, the people there, their food habits, their social behavior, their travel etc that even a citizen of that country would normally won’t bother to know these details during normal times. Thus I became a global citizen simply sitting in a couch and using my iPad!!

I watched political leaders across the world in action with their left, right, socialistic and capitalistic orientations. I became law maker for several countries and started review of the actions and inactions of these leaders. I advised the public through social media as to what went wrong with these guys and what they should have done. I became a consultant to the global leaders!!

I reviewed the science behind the diseases that the world faced/faces/will face. I became an epidemiologist, a health care specialist, a pharmaceutical expert; I thought I understood respiratory systems, became emergency care professional. I literally became the master of life sciences.

I analyzed human behavior, impact of country, culture & religion on human behavior, I tried experimenting with social distancing (remember – human beings are social animals). In short I became sociologist.

I ran restaurants & Bars; I ran public transport, managed hospitals, became insurance administrator; I ran treasuries and stock markets, I specialized in mathematical modeling, (understood lots of curves, peaked them, flattened them). I saw numerous movies & TV Shows, listened to all kinds of music & podcasts, recited slokas/hymns. I did baby sitting, & played with kids. There are practically very little fields that I left uncovered in these testing times.

The only area that I didn’t touch in this period of crisis is about “I“(myself). Who am I ?. ..

All I know about myself is that I am not happy (अहं सर्वदा दुःखभारावसन्नो – I am always sunken with the burden of Sorrows). I want the crisis to be over and I want to be happy.

Absolutely nothing wrong with this feeling. All living beings desire to be happy without any misery. This is human nature. But then who am “I”? What do I mean when I use the word “Happy”?

Read my blogs in the coming weeks in the “Spirituality” Section of the Menu.

Author: prabhusponder

A novice venturing out to explore the meaning of life

9 thoughts on “WHO AM I?”

  1. Hi Soundara. Yr findings r excellent. I surprised to note yr inner mind.
    U have forgotten one thing in the findings. “COOKING.” It occupies major portion of work in our life cycle and mostly encircled in the life of women folk .they find it pleasure and men folk r having aversion to this. U try this field and u derive pleasure. It also give relaxation to yr partner. U please send the experience i after involving yourself in this activity,in the next blog. With best wishes. Sukumar.
    With best

  2. Here is an interesting response I got from my relative on WhatsApp

    “Vazhga valamudan. Very interesting to approach the questions ‘who am I, and what am I ‘.At the same time the effort is not easy. As Shakespeare has said, in his lifetime, in the stage of the world, a man plays seven(!!!!!????) roles. Actually his roles are many -a son, brother, friend, student, husband, co-brother, son -in-law, brother -in-law, father, employer/employee. Citizen and so on. Oh it is a great ,long line. In every role he has to perform his duty cautiously, diligently and to his satisfaction also. Thought he may feel, he has performed fairly well, the reaction on the other side is a great question. Actually life is a hurdles /marathon/relay race. Even at the time when he things his duties are over ,does/can he raises /raise the above questions to himself and try to find the answer. At one point of time everyone should think about it. Otherwise as, Guru Ramakrishna Paramahamsa said, we will be like the ants which when seeing the sugar around are satisfied and forget or neglect to enjoy the
    bhoondhi beyond that. It is impossible to reach the shore of ‘Nirvana ‘ unless OR Otherwise one starts thinking about it. Life is an ocean of unending, continuous duties and responsibilities with commitments also.Beyond that we should slowly learn to switch over to the the side of detachment. For this one need not go to caves, mountains or forests. Start watching, enjoying, appreciating the gifts of nature, thanking God for everything and His countless Blessings. Slowly calmness will prevail I’m our mind. What best we could do for the society we will and should do. Because what all we got and enjoyed is from here only. When we are young if we start ,of course we cannot, thinking of salvation, it will be selfish. But, a day should come. If we are able to start our search for the answers for those two vivid, valid and purposeful quiries, then we are, ‘பாக்கியவான்கள். 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻”

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